If I Said I Cared. I Lied.

So i have never felt so numb to life and the thoughts of everything in my life.
Well I have felt this way before, but never this much. Only a few times have i felt this way, One was right before/when I moved to Ottawa, IL. Then another was when I moved back. Then the most recent was back in April, and now its happening again.

I can't really explain the feeling, but its kinda like you live, but you're not living, but you are living but without care, but you care for the people around you and people in general. I don't know how to explain it, if you feel like checking out two songs I wrote about feeling this way check www.myspace.com/abistarline thats my bands myspace, listen to the song "THIS VACATION" and "INTRODUCTION" those are the only two besides "Antartica" off my new cd that are relation to this feeling.

I almost wake up every day, and don't feel motivated but i am motivated at the same time. Kinda like a dead fire and still alive. But then there are times I feel like I am just feeling so amazing. It changes but it all comes back to the only word i can use to describe this feeling, is numb.

"The lesson is life is not playing the role of the let down" is probably one of the greatest lines I have ever heard in my life.

more on how i feel later i guess.
I'm heading out to watch the new Saw 4 movie now.