I'm not who I was

To me one thing that I truly believe the whole religion thing is about is about Forgiveness and Acceptance. I feel thats whats stressed throughout what I have read in the bible. I used to have a problem with forgiveness, trust, and loving and being open, who doesn't though? I mean no one wants to be hurt, and after you've been hurt once, its easy to shelter your feelings and thoughts and be stubborn. I was that way. I'm just being honest with you, you may have been hurt once , twice, maybe three times, but its not over, you're going to get hurt a whole lot more, you're going to lose a lot.

Accepting the way things are, is one thing thats truly just brought my happiness in life down so much. But I changed that, how did I change it? Its not something you work at. For all of you that say "oh i'm working on changing myself and my way" or "I am figuring myself out" You are lying to yourself, stop being so selfish. Stop stalling, there is never a clear way for anything in life. You know what needs changed, you know how to act the right way, so do it, accept you made ignorant decisions, accept someone may have broken your trust intentionally, someone may have trusted you and you broke it, you may have done something you knew you shouldn't have, someone may have done something they knew they shouldn't have. Take it as it is. Stuff will suck. It will hurt. You have nothing to figure out, nothing to change but your own selfishness. But don't get me wrong, you do need to be selfish to get the best out of life for yourself. But there is a difference being *Selfish and Considerate. and being *Selfish and Inconsiderate. You have to love yourself and think good things of yourself if you want to gain the best in life, but you can take other peoples feelings and lives into consideration that are you friends and people in and around your life.

Forgiveness is something that people, or well I, myself in general have trouble doing. I hate the fact someone would be so selfish to take the step into having a great time for the moment and then apologize for something they chose to do. Never apologize for something you decide to do. Accept the facts you hurt someone, Don't apologize, if you care about that person and are hurt by the fact you hurt them, change things, prove to them you are worthy of still being in their life. Its hard to just have something happen to you and just drop it and give up. Never give up is something people always say, but then again, if you don't, you can't forgive, cause in order to give in and forgive , you have to give up your fight with what you feel is right. I've always heard is it better to Forgive or Forget?

I believe its better and easier to Forget. I let others live with the burden, regret and shame of what they did. I don't want it. But you forgive to mend their end. Forgiveness to me is a sign of weakness. Accepting it and moving on to better things is different than forgiving. Forgiving is like saying "its okay you did whatever you did, it wasn't that big of a deal it just upset me but not anymore" accepting and moving on to better things is, is like "okay, you messed up, you were selfish, and made a stupid decision , to only better your situation in the current time not for your future, but I care enough about you to stick with you and continue as a part of each others lives."

Thats just me I guess.