Scott Joseph Phares Blog

From then until Now.

2008-10-05T08:38:00.000-07:00

Well this is something I planned on sharing, when the moment came. This will be a long just to let you know.

It started in November 2007 after finishing up the whole Georgia EP, I was basically done with music. For a few reasons, but none of the reasons were because of my success I have had since Sept 2006 when I started City Like Drive. I am very appreciative to all those who have told a friend, came to a show, and for being a human. But while talking to my friend Justin around Thanksgiving of 2007 when he came to visit from Chicago, I told him I was basically done with everything in my music career. This was the day I finished writing The Georgia EP, he's always been supportive regardless of what I did. I don't really know completely what lead me to wanting to end it. I would say it was things in my personal life, and looking towards my future. I guess for success in any situation you have to sacrifice something right? Music was what I put on the table to sacrifice, because it caused a few things in my life that I would've wished went differently.

Then in December 2007 I went on tour in about every city in Texas besides Houston and El Paso, also played in Oklahoma and Missouri. It was fun, but me and the guy I was on tour with Joshua Aaron (now called Irony Rains) he is a good friend of mine. I told him about what I was thinking about ending it. The tour went great though Denton and Corpus Christi TX will always be good memories from that tour. We got back right before Christmas, and I went back to living life.

At this point I didn't want anything to do with music, because I have already ended it in my head. All I cared about doing or wanted to do was wake up by 10am and go drive in the country of my hometown, because nothing is greater than sunshine on snow in the country, besides falling in love. I began to focus on nothing. Earlier in 2007 I was planning on touring the East Coast, and Georgia/Florida. That didn't happen, due to me not wanting to. I still played shows here and there. One show I will remember is in Jerseyville IL, most of the people there didn't really know any of my songs, but it was a very fun show. Which made me want to get out and play a lot more. But I didn't.

Fast forward to the Spring, I began thinking of what I could do that could change my mind, or help me sink further into whatever it was I was in, in my head. So I finally decided to move to Chicago IL. I put it off a lot. Then in June 2008 came my birthday, went out to a local bar with some friends. It was a really great time, I played "Sweet Home Alabama" with the band that was playing at the bar that night. I felt like a magician because I completed the song flat on my feet. Then came July, where I completed the task of finding an apartment in Chicago. It was in a nice part of the downtown area in the "Bridgeport" area, kinda near Midway Airport, but closer to the loop. Moved there in August. I love Chicago but shortly after being there, I began or well continued my thinking, I also grew a fondness to Subway? haha. Mainly because there was a 24 hour one a few blocks from my apartment. Then I started listening to some demos that my friend Clint had recorded for a band I was trying to vamp back up with a few other friend, I decided to move back to my hometown from Chicago after not being there for no longer than a month. There were a few reasons why, nothing too major. It just didn't feel right, maybe because I was somewhere else with my life in my head. I came back to my hometown had Clint join City Like Drive, he is a very great guitar player and songwriter. We recorded some demos, played one show. I had been thinking about City Like Drive, my personal life, my future. Which is why I talked to Clint about departing with CLD, and it would return to just me. Which had nothing to do with him to be honest. I hope to start a full band with him sometime in the future, it would be amazing. But for CLD I felt like I needed to do something.

So here we are not almost a year since the Georgia EP and my last tour. I have played maybe 10 shows in that time period. I have written many songs, which I can't wait to share. I have realized whats good in my life and I have always knew what I wanted. Most people say they don't know what they want in their life, but they do. They just don't know how to get it.

I look forward to the future. I have a lot on my mind, but I always do, and who doesn't? We are humans. The future of City Like Drive will be a good deal. I will be releasing an EP in January called "The Brighter Side" EP, which will lead up to my full length release in the Spring 2009 called "Compromise in Small Things". Rather it will be released on an Indie Label, or by myself, I don't really care. I have had options on the table as well as any band/artist that has done well at a few points and such. Nothing really interested me.

Thanks for being amazing.
I can't wait for the future.

Scott Phares.

Is Christian Rock Music/Rock Music the Devil?

2008-09-05T05:53:00.000-07:00

I have read many things and talked to people about this very subject.

People that have said that Rock music is the devil, say that because of their assumption. I personally have never read anything about rock music being the devil in the Bible. Some rock bands have claimed they are devils advocates and other things. But realize this, people will do almost anything to get media exposure regardless.

So basically you have a minority of Rock bands in the history of music that have said anything about being the devil or ending Christianity.
Marlyn Manson once said, "Hopefully, I’ll be remembered as the person who brought an end to Christianity.".

So from quotes like that from a minority of bands, people and Christian believers alike call Rock music the devil.

I call that being closed minded.

Thats like people assuming because a few preachers rape a kid, that all preachers are like that, which is completely false. Which is also a close minded way of thinking if you think that.

Not all rock music calls for rebellion, Barely any music does.

Then Christians who think that a Christian Rock or a Contemporary Christian Rock bands are a form of the devil using Gods name and the Bibles language, as "the beautiful side of evil"
Is to me, making another excuse of not being able to accept what is honest and clear.

Some Christians will talk down to Christian bands that write songs about their lives and situations, not always just speaking of the teachings of Christianity directly. The bible to me is not completely clearly written, its vague in some parts, which is where interpretation comes, which is why there are different beliefs within Christianity. Who is to say who is right or wrong? Not you, not me. I feel that the more we connect with each other, doing good, spreading the word of Christianity, but not being in peoples faces trying to make them believe your way. God moves in many ways, through anything, even music, even music that doesn't "worship" God directly though direct lyrics.

There is nothing wrong with Christian Music or Contemporary Christian music. Regardless of material, Worship music is Worship, Christian Rock/Alternative/Contemporary music can be about many thing that connect us all, but all in all we are Gods people.

Again this is my opinion.

I will write another part to this soon.
Thanks

False Hope

2008-08-20T00:50:00.001-07:00

Ever since 2006 I have always been on a search to better educate myself, aside from school, because schooling is laid out, I like selective educating, self education. Thats something a lot of people that are involved with religion are very strong in, regardless if they realize or acknowledge it. They educate on their religion and beliefs of their religion and such to gain more in their views and feelings on life. I myself am a very open minded person, have nothing against those who aren't, I am not "sold" to any religion, hold nothing against those who claim a certain religion. I am a strong believer in the personal choice of a person. Also a strong believer in respect and honesty. I am religious to a sense, more so than many maybe? As much as I look into things with all religions it just really interests me.

Some of my friends say "Don't question religion or God" its bad.

I don't feel its bad. God wasn't just implanted in your head. Maybe your life (depending on what you believe) but not in your head. But someone told you of God, which is why you had an interest. Interests are sparked by questions and curiosity. So therefore I feel we call question God or Religion at some point, whether we think we do or not. No need to be hypocritical.

Sometimes people don't understand or realize.

False hope or being overly hopeful, or "getting their hopes up".

Those things are what help build your life.

Are you really that lost?

2008-08-09T21:50:00.000-07:00

In a crowded room, rather it be a Doctors off waiting room, Train, Bus, Plane, etc....

You feel alone.
But you're not

Everyone around you has

Been in love
Been loved
Hurt someone
Has been hurt
Has lied
Been lied to
Loves to sleep
Has been in or is in the same situation you are in or something very similar.

The only thing that makes the difference is that you haven't said Hi, and got to know their name.

We are all humans.
We all will live.
We all will die.

Why spend so much time being Distant?

Chicago trip.

2008-07-16T12:35:00.000-07:00

Basically my last few days went as follows..

Sunday July 13th
Driving to Springfield, IL to catch my train to Chicago, IL. Departing at 6:33pm. I drove past the road I was supposed to take to the train station, had to go a few blocks to turn around. I was already running close on time. I arrive at the train station at 6:35pm.. the train was gone. So I got another ticket for the next morning, the guy working there told me it left at 6:55am. Then I called my friend to look up some hotels in Springfield, then he told me to just call his brother, which I am friends with and stay with him to save money. So I did that, met up with Brad, my friend Matts brother. Kicked it for a bit, then he had to go to work at the Airport for a few hours, I went to Black Sheep Cafe in Springfield for a bit, checked out some band from Decatur.

After I left there, I made some stops to obtain some proper merchandise. Then met back up with Brad at his apartment. Invited a few friends over and we kicked it all night until I had to leave early in the morning. I arrive back at the train station (around 6:45am on Monday July 14th). I go to the window to give them my ticket, I was then notified that the train left at 6:33am. I was told the wrong time. So then I had to change to the next train at 830am. I went to eat breakfast with Brad and Jessie, then went back caught the train. and I was off to Chicago, Finally. I tried to sleep on the train, but it didn't happen, well I got about an hour of sleep. It took 6 hours to get there with all the delays.

I arrive in Chicago around 1pm, check out something , meet up with my friend Justin. We went to a Polish Bar near Belmont, it was fun. Came back to his apartment, and then crashed. Then July 15th Tuesday. Went and checked out some more places, then went out to eat at some pizza place that was really good. Then we came back to Justins apartment and hung out.

Now I head out to the train station in about 4 hours to head back to Springfield.

Just Believe Everything

2008-05-17T10:37:00.000-07:00

Is a lie.

And you will never lose.

Thats how I feel sometimes.

Many can state they feel a certain way at a certain time.

But those change into lies passing with the growing of time.

The more you search for something real the more you find out how fabricated and fake everything. and everyone is.

You can paint your disappointment by searching for a better happiness.

Take it from me.

If you don't take the chance to turn a page in time with your life you won't have to move on from the past. If you don't stay on that page you will never stay in the past.

Step back from that small book.

Forget it.

Live your life for yourself, your family, your friends. Things that will never leave you.

You will find your happiness through you.

Not anyone else.

May 7th. I think they call this Spring.

2008-05-07T09:54:00.000-07:00

To start things off. Its weird to me how late in the year it is. I still feel like I just got back from Texas on tour back in December. But I have only played about 5 shows since. Some people may have noticed I canceled my summer tour. Also that I am not playing a lot of shows aside from the few Warped Tour Dates. Explanation: I feel that lately. Just an odd sense of de-motivation. I guess, Its just I feel that the last year and a half with my music Sept 2006-Now. Has gone so, so fast. Which I love, absolutely. It brought me many success. Which are all minor to what I hope to achieve in the near future.

I will begin recording my album Compromise in Small Things down in Troy Illinois. Probably next week sometime. Then I will get my situation with moving to Chicago, IL done. I have a few minor things I am waiting on before I can go up to Chicago to check out a few apartments, pick one, sign the lease, then move there. But this will all be done by the end of May.

I will be playing some shows in Chicago upon moving there.
I will also be taking a lot of time for myself. My life.
Might go fishing (maybe not haha), get a new guitar, go to a new club, meet new people, have a girlfriend (maybe not) , have a good time, yes.
Those are some possiblities.

Good day.

March 11th - The Day of a Something..

2008-03-11T10:48:00.000-07:00

So a lot has been going on lately. Some good, Some Bad, Some I won't go into, and some I will. I will be doing this blog atleast every other day. Sometimes every day, So yes. Thats a promise. On a sad note, Buddy (thats a name of a dog, not something I'm calling you haha) my friends dog, which I feel is like my dog also, I thought was going to pass away yesterday, he threw up the night before like 4 times and woke up and his head was so swollen, I felt really bad, but day 2 today, he's out walking around, his swollen face has gone down. Which I'm happy for, but he still looks a little swollen, like he had a stroke, hopefully the poor guy makes it. The typical lifespan for dogs of his breed is 15 years and he's been around for 11.

I will be releasing an EP online only, for a set price i'm not sure of yet. Its called the CONTROL EP, It features some of my unreleased material and unreleased demos that I felt like sharing with you all. I love to do the free download thing, which I still have a lot of that at www.virb.com/writteninahometown (one of my previous releases) and also my latest free release of The Georgia EP www.purevolume.com/scottjosephphares

But some of you artists out there know how hard it is sometimes when you try to level the playing field, I hate to be the one saying "go buy my new release" but in all honesty its a cheap , easy process for the purchaser, also it helps out the artist you are choosing to support. I will be doing all of my releases through DownloadPunk.com .

As for saying that, I'd like to announce the recently added sponsor to my career. I have been in talks with DownloadPunk.com for the last week or two about sponsorship deal. So I am now officially sponsored by DownloadPunk.com. So what does that mean?

I will be running special contests and all my releases through the website, with lots of fun stuff, and free stuff as well. You should definitely give the website a check. If you're into iTunes, Rhapsody and such, DownloadPunk.com is my favorite of the bunch. Due to the facts that its a huge help for the bands, and the purchasing ways are just like that of iTunes and other mp3 purchasing websites.

I will be recording some new songs as well as some new songs for my side project IfILive.
Within the coming week. Also I will be recording the new random questions video soon.

Another Reason

2008-01-04T15:35:00.000-08:00

Back in the day (2005) I had my 2 year relationship end with a girl that I had been with my Junior and Senior Year of High School. She broke up with me on the campus of MacMurray College, where I was going to college at , at the time, when I didn't let her check my myspace. Because at the time there was this girl that was sending me flirty-like messages , and i couldn't have told her about it cause she would've killed me, even though i didn't do anything back, but with-holding that information actually is what ended it. But this song was written in 2006 around Valentines day when she called me the night before (we had been broken up from sept 2005 til then) and she was telling me how she missed me and such, and really wanted to see me. So I decided to leave my house in Ottawa IL (where I lived at the time) and drive 3 1/2 hours to Roodhouse IL to surprise her for Valentines Day, so I went to walmart and bought some cheap cheesy flowers and a HUGE stuffed animal of a frog (cause frogs were like her favorite thing) and I called her sister when i got into town to have her meet me at the door and let me in so she wouldn't know i was there, and when i walked into her room, she was so happy, i felt like, it was right, it fit, but now that i've lived my life more, i've learned you will find and feel that feeling many times. Me and her are friends now, we are different people now, we changed, but when i see her i still think of the same girl i knew before, and not judging her because of things she's done between then, after you live your life, you learn to respect people and what you have and had.

"Another Reason" this mp3 can be heard/download at http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=30205

I need to talk to again one last time and tell you whats been going on in my mind
I'm tired of your lies and all your excuses, How selfish and childish have you become?
When I said I didn't want to talk to you again I meant it, I'll say it again and not regret it
I won't regret it.

So you call me crying, telling me you love me. I was half tempted to hang up and not listen
You said you've been telling your mother all of these kind of things
Like you miss me and want me back
So I drove 3 hours just to see you, It seemed just like the movies, Like it was meant to be
So we hung out for a few days and I left, I haven't heard from you since then

You said you didn't like to make decisions and didn't like to see me cry
You lied, I never wanted that, Hearing about it behind your back
I wish you would've just come out and told truth, so I wouldn't have to go on despising you

You lied, I never wanted that, Hearing about it behind your back
You lied, I never wanted that, Now you'll never get me back.

Its the New Year, You Made It.

2008-01-01T11:29:00.000-08:00

So I spent the night seeing some sweet bands and some of my friends bands play (whisperwall, harvey, and the cadagian house) they rocked the place, then ate at steak n shake around 1am, then hung out with some friends then fell asleep.

Today I'm just chilling.
Below I'll list some of my "best" lists as many do for 2007.

Top 10 Albums Released in 2007
1. Cinematographic - The Junior Varsity
2. Coco - Colbie Caillat
3. Anhedonia - The Graduate
4. Cities - Anberlin
5. Unbreakable - Backstreet Boys
6. The Way We Talk EP - The Maine
7. Greatest Hits - Whisperwall
8. Graduation - Kanye West
9. The Worst Year Ever - Harvey
10. The Con - Tegan and Sara

Top 5 Songs in 2007
1. "Cinematographic" - The Junior Varsity
2. "That For You" - Matt Wertz
3. "New Found Interest in the South" - Whisperwall
4. "The Way We Talk" - The Maine
5. "Wunderdrug" - The Junior Varrsity

Top 5 Live Shows I Attended
1. The Junior Varsity @ Capitol City Bar and Grill
2. Switchfoot @ Cornerstone
3. Whisperwall @ X-Treme Cafe
4. The Graduate CD Release @ Capitol City Bar and Grill
5. Renae in Petersburg IL

Top 5 Favorite Shows I Played This Year
1. Battle of the Bands @ Carrollton High School in Carrollton
2. YMCA Show w/ Hey Baby Girl and Jim Smiley in Roodhouse IL
3. Last Seton Hall Show in White Hall IL
4. The Hangar Venue in Buchanan GA
5. Fat Daddys Sound Shack in Lewisville TX

Top 5 Favorite Places I Visited This Year
1. Chicago IL
2. San Antonio TX
3. Progresso , Mexico
4. Argyle/Keokuk IA
5. Alton IL

Top 5 TV Shows This Year
1. Gossip Girl
2. The Hills
3. Life of Ryan
4. Rock of Love
5. I love New York

Top 5 Movies
1. American Gangster
2. I Am Legend
3. Dan In Real Life
4. Borat
5. Alpha Dog

Hey

2007-12-13T09:09:00.000-08:00

Life is crazy.

I know this.

and

I love this.

Good in God and its the day after Thanksgiving.

2007-11-23T14:55:00.000-08:00

So like every expected typical thing i will say. I hope your Holiday was a good one.

I'll recap the last week-ish-or-so of my life.
Sunday, about a week ago I began house sitting for my Aunt and Uncle, Valerie and Jeff. Well actually they aren't married, but I hope they do get married cause Valerie is great, and Jeff is the man. But I'll still call her my aunt. But yes, the first night was good. I wrote and recorded a demo of a new song called "Chicago" its a full production, drums, bass, guitar, vocals. About my mind. I can't wait to share the song with you, because for some that don't understand me, I think this song is a perfect way for you to pick my mind and get it. I then fell asleep.

The next night my friend Kelsie came over, we hung out and talked, she was taking a break from her jog (in the freezing cold). Next thing I know she was asleep, so i continued to sit on the laptop and talk to all you lovely people, then I went to the other bedroom and fell asleep, she was gone in the morning when I woke up, and didn't even fold her blanket, I tell ya haha. But you know what, its crazy to know that myself and a girl I dated for almost two years, we can still sit in the same room alone, and carry a good conversation as friends and not doing anything or show a desire to. I think its the facts that we respect each other and each others lives, and are over the whole thing in the past. I would consider her one of my good friends.

The rest of the days house sitting for them ( i was doing so to take care of their animals while they were in texas ). My friend Matt stayed one night, and he didn't think I'd shave my beard, so I did. The next night was Thanksgiving (wed night) Dinner with my Dads side of the family, then afterwards me and my cousin went back to the house and recorded some music and such, I lost a bet that night so I had to shave my head, not bald but its SUPER short. haha.

The next night was Thanksgiving, I slept all day and went to my moms and hung out with my family. God is a crazy thing. I love my family.

Later that night my great buddy Justin came over, and he brought me a sparks which was a good suprise. He is the man, later that night we stayed up and went and got our friend Shannon, then went to Jacksonville, IL for black friday shopping.

I didn't get anything besides a TON of food at Burger King.

Now I am sitting here on a friday night at my amazing friend Jessica Coxs house, she is at work as well is my friend matt is. So i'm chillin here with their parents, they are amazing people.

In life remember this, don't spend time searching for the love and comfort you desire in a relationship, when you have all that right in front of your face in your friends and family.

God is happiness, and its never going to deny you.

If I Said I Cared. I Lied.

2007-11-06T14:10:00.000-08:00

So i have never felt so numb to life and the thoughts of everything in my life.
Well I have felt this way before, but never this much. Only a few times have i felt this way, One was right before/when I moved to Ottawa, IL. Then another was when I moved back. Then the most recent was back in April, and now its happening again.

I can't really explain the feeling, but its kinda like you live, but you're not living, but you are living but without care, but you care for the people around you and people in general. I don't know how to explain it, if you feel like checking out two songs I wrote about feeling this way check www.myspace.com/abistarline thats my bands myspace, listen to the song "THIS VACATION" and "INTRODUCTION" those are the only two besides "Antartica" off my new cd that are relation to this feeling.

I almost wake up every day, and don't feel motivated but i am motivated at the same time. Kinda like a dead fire and still alive. But then there are times I feel like I am just feeling so amazing. It changes but it all comes back to the only word i can use to describe this feeling, is numb.

"The lesson is life is not playing the role of the let down" is probably one of the greatest lines I have ever heard in my life.

more on how i feel later i guess.
I'm heading out to watch the new Saw 4 movie now.

i write the letters on your face

2007-11-05T16:54:00.001-08:00

Its monday November 5th, I'm sitting here waiting for Monday Night Football (Ravens Vs. Steelers) to come on. I'm going for the Ravens.

So i'll recap my weekend briefly.

Friday: My friend Joceyln had her 21st birthday party. It was quite the time, It was fun. Afterwards we went to Dennys in Litchfield, IL. Then were meaning to go to White Hall, but ended up in Auburn IL, which is WAY out of the way, like almost an hour. Then me and Jerry decided to go to Jacksonville , IL and crash at his dorm @ Illinois College.

Saturday: Feeling like i got hit by a truck, chilled most the day, went to Macomb, IL played a show at Western Illinois University, then ate at McDonalds and convinced the three girls working there that they were in love with my friend Jerry.

Sunday: FOOTBALL waited like 5 weeks for this game COLTS vs PATRIOTS. Who did I go for when my two favorite teams played eachother? The Patriots. Why? because Randy Moss, my favorite football player plays for them. Then Sunday night (last night) I watched BORAT and GOOD LUCK CHUCK for the first time. I almost died when i watched Borat. Good Luck Chuck, is amazing, and really just made me feel good, about what the possibilities are in life.

Aside from that, I feel that taking a step back from shows all over and keeping it really local til my tour, and til I move. I have been questioning myself whether or not i'll continue to play shows as much after my december tour. I feel numb in my mind to almost any and everything, besides my feelings for a certain situations.

It sucks to wait for something, it sucks to have so much to say and not having it in you to just say "hey, this is how i feel"
but you know what?

i love life.

and i'm still alive.

so no complaining here.

November 1st

2007-10-31T23:13:00.000-07:00

I'm listening to the Backstreet Boys new album Unbreakable, its amazing.

Today I didn't do a lot. Talked to peoples, worked on some bookings. It was Halloween, my friend Jessi's dad Robert Cox (the man) handed out some candy at their house, I was around while that happened, then I went and hung out with my little brother.

Tomorrow, i'm going to Wild Country in Collinsville IL, which is like a country music dance club thats on TV, i think, thats what I was told, I have heard of it. My friend Matt invited me, he's going with some lady and I guess some of her friends, I don't know who she is or they are, so it should be cool, I enjoy hanging out with Matt. Every friend has to be there through the break through :) haha

Sometimes this music thing is just weird, I guess would be the feeling. Its like a really good weird. Like when I go to peoples myspace pages and see my videos or songs on their pages, just is crazy, but I am so glad people understand and are with me now, its something i appreciate so much. Touring is something thats amazing.

Just with knowing all these people, I get to make so many friends, and I love it.

I just love life.

I'll let you know how tomorrow goes :)

I'm not who I was

2007-10-30T04:40:00.001-07:00

To me one thing that I truly believe the whole religion thing is about is about Forgiveness and Acceptance. I feel thats whats stressed throughout what I have read in the bible. I used to have a problem with forgiveness, trust, and loving and being open, who doesn't though? I mean no one wants to be hurt, and after you've been hurt once, its easy to shelter your feelings and thoughts and be stubborn. I was that way. I'm just being honest with you, you may have been hurt once , twice, maybe three times, but its not over, you're going to get hurt a whole lot more, you're going to lose a lot.

Accepting the way things are, is one thing thats truly just brought my happiness in life down so much. But I changed that, how did I change it? Its not something you work at. For all of you that say "oh i'm working on changing myself and my way" or "I am figuring myself out" You are lying to yourself, stop being so selfish. Stop stalling, there is never a clear way for anything in life. You know what needs changed, you know how to act the right way, so do it, accept you made ignorant decisions, accept someone may have broken your trust intentionally, someone may have trusted you and you broke it, you may have done something you knew you shouldn't have, someone may have done something they knew they shouldn't have. Take it as it is. Stuff will suck. It will hurt. You have nothing to figure out, nothing to change but your own selfishness. But don't get me wrong, you do need to be selfish to get the best out of life for yourself. But there is a difference being *Selfish and Considerate. and being *Selfish and Inconsiderate. You have to love yourself and think good things of yourself if you want to gain the best in life, but you can take other peoples feelings and lives into consideration that are you friends and people in and around your life.

Forgiveness is something that people, or well I, myself in general have trouble doing. I hate the fact someone would be so selfish to take the step into having a great time for the moment and then apologize for something they chose to do. Never apologize for something you decide to do. Accept the facts you hurt someone, Don't apologize, if you care about that person and are hurt by the fact you hurt them, change things, prove to them you are worthy of still being in their life. Its hard to just have something happen to you and just drop it and give up. Never give up is something people always say, but then again, if you don't, you can't forgive, cause in order to give in and forgive , you have to give up your fight with what you feel is right. I've always heard is it better to Forgive or Forget?

I believe its better and easier to Forget. I let others live with the burden, regret and shame of what they did. I don't want it. But you forgive to mend their end. Forgiveness to me is a sign of weakness. Accepting it and moving on to better things is different than forgiving. Forgiving is like saying "its okay you did whatever you did, it wasn't that big of a deal it just upset me but not anymore" accepting and moving on to better things is, is like "okay, you messed up, you were selfish, and made a stupid decision , to only better your situation in the current time not for your future, but I care enough about you to stick with you and continue as a part of each others lives."

Thats just me I guess.

The Lesson in Life is not playing the Role of the Let Down.

2007-10-29T20:56:00.000-07:00

So this is a new thing i'm doing, atleast daily hopefully.

Right now, the hills re-run is playing behind me on the tv, i'm thinking about my upcoming tour to Texas. And how sweet its going to be, just to see that state again, feel alive, drive a lot, play some shows and meet some amazing people. Thats one thing I love so much about what i do , is all the amazing people i get the chance to say i have met.

As for who will be touring with me, I am not for sure. I'm excited to be spending the Christmas holiday with my grandparents in Donna TX. A lot of people asked me why I won't be touring to New York like i said. But will I reschedule? Yes i will, that will be shortly after the texas tour in January. Also Florida, You're in Feb. I have a lot coming up that I'm excited for. Radio stations, New CDs, New Recordings, Management, Label news and Touring plans with a few good acts.

I just love touring, please if you see i'm coming to your town or near it and you want to kick it, please never hesitate to message me or hit me up on AIM, i'm usually down for anything, I'm a human too, I like to have fun haha.

I love to see my friends like Joshua Aaron, Jonnie Gentry, and Go Away Orange Pogo Stick opening up and just taking control of their creativeness and talents. I love all my friends and my family. Sometimes I get too caught up in my "music" life, and don't focus on my "normal/personal" life. But I guess its a good thing because 90% of the time single people think about other people they could date and how they could increase those opportunities. And the people that have a bf/gf spend their time with them.

So i guess i'm not missing out on much right? Unless I had a girlfriend, then i'd be missing out on being with her, which I would never put myself in the situation for me to miss out on things like that. But I don't have one, so all is good :)

The End